What Would You Do During the Zombie Apocalypse?
by ForbiddenDreams13
Summary: A piece of reading material becomes the topic of an off-the-wall conversation between our four boys and the ferry-girl. I'm back people!


**Greetings Yu Yu Hakusho readers. I'm getting back into this fandom, and it's feeling good. As it should, right? Heh, anyway, this idea came to me out of the blue, as most good ones often do. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: Look at the pen name in the upper left-hand corner of your screen. Now, if you happen to possess a manga volume, grab that and look at the author name. Now back to my pen name, now back to your manga. Unfortunately, I am not Yoshirhiro Togashi. I simply borrow his characters. Now look up at the address bar, now back down at your computer screen. Where are you? You're on .**

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On a mild summer day in the middle of June a rarity was taking place inside Genkai's temple. A rarity of such proportions that it seemed as if any moment the world would cease to exist. What rarity you ask? Yusuke Urameshi was reading a book. And no, not because he had to; because he wanted to.

Silence rang throughout the small room the Spirit Detective sat in. Kuwabara was busy helping Genkai fashion some wards to help keep a few pesky demons from getting too far inside the temple grounds. Kurama and Botan were outside, tending to one of the gardens on the temple grounds, and Hiei was off somewhere. After Yusuke had turned down a sparring request, the half-koorime looked at the boy in shock and asked him if he felt alright. Yusuke responded by laughing, patting Hiei on the shoulder (an action that elicited a death glare from the demon), and telling him that he was in perfect health, he just had some other plans. Hiei either had no interest in knowing, or had been too shocked over the normally pugnacious boy turning down a chance to show off, that he had nodded and walked away.

Little did Yusuke know, Hiei now stood off to his left, examining the book he held in his hands.

"Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide." Hiei read off the front cover. Shocked by the sudden noise, Yusuke jumped, almost throwing the book. He whipped around to see Hiei bent over, studying the book. On the front cover underneath the title (whose font made the title look like a bunch of scratch marks instead of words, Hiei thought), was a picture of a man holding a gun and standing victorious over a pile of rotted corpses. The half-koorime cocked his head to one side. "What garbage are you reading?"

Yusuke huffed, "Aw c'mon Hiei. Ya never know, this stuff could come in handy if I ever run into a pack of zombies."

"Something tells me that if you did run into a pack of brain-slurping undead, they would take one look at you, and turn away to seek something that would actually feed them." Hiei snorted. To be honest, he'd heard far too much of zombie apocalypse propaganda lately. Why humanity was so concerned with a sudden rising of flesh-eating ghouls, Hiei didn't know, nor did he care. To him, if a bunch of brain-eating, re-animated humans did crawl out of their graves, they wouldn't find much of a meal. Yusuke put down the book, about to defend his choice of reading material, when Kurama and Botan walked in, Kuwabara trailing behind them.

"Hey you two, what's up?" Botan asked, giving a cheery wave. Kuwabara glanced down at the book beside his friend.

"Oh hey I read that. Pretty good book. So, how far are you Urameshi?"

Why was Hiei not surprised?

"About halfway through." Yusuke replied.

This piqued Kurama's interest. "What are you reading?" he asked, sitting down beside Yusuke. His eyes then fell on the book cover and shone with recognition. "Oh, I see. You know, someone in my class recommended that book to me. I actually enjoyed it."

Stunned, Hiei stared at the fox. Kurama had read such adolescent, idiotic trash? What the hell? Botan sat down beside Kurama and picked the book up, reading part of the summary on the back cover. "'Read this handy guide on how to come out alive and on top when the zombie apocalypse comes'?" She looked over at Kurama, "You mean you read this too?"

Kurama nodded, "I thought I'd give the book a chance."

The ferry-girl threw him a flat look, "But you won't read the _Twilight Series_."

Kurama glanced off to the left, "Well...how do I say this..." he fished around for something to say. Botan was a wonderful person, but insult her favorite book and/or genre and there would be hell to pay. Evergreen eyes shifted over to the right. The longer the pause went on, the deeper Botan's look bored into him. Kurama was saved when Kuwabara answered for him.

"Because he's a guy Botan, and guys don't read romance." _Cheap, overdone romance at that, _Kurama thought. Seriously! That entire series was just plain idiotic, why women continued to drink up every word on every page was beyond him. Even his mother had fallen to the spell of bad literature that Stephanie Meyer had cast over almost the entire female populace.

Rolling her eyes, Botan put the book back down and turned to Yusuke. "Anyway, I can see why Kurama and Kuwabara would read this, simply for entertainment purposes, but you can't tell me that you honestly believe that the world's going to end at the hands of a zombie horde."

Unbeknownst to Botan, her ranking on Hiei's meter went up two places. Yusuke nodded.

" I mean come on Botan, weirder things have happened."

"He's right Botan," Kuwabara refuted Yusuke, " who knows when some government-created virus will leak out into the open?"

Hiei snorted, alerting the four that he was still in the room. "Government-created virus? What kind of far-fetched ides will humanity shovel out of the dump it calls a mind next?"

"Actually Hiei, with the dawn of the digital age, and technology's rapid advancement, we, along with other modernized countries like America, China, and those in western and some of eastern Europe, may already have the technology needed to create a zombie virus." Kurama explained.

Kuwabara's eyes bugged out. "Whoa, wait. You're saying that a zombie apocalypse can actually happen?"

"I'm just saying it's a possibility." Kurama replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Exactly!" Yusuke chimed in, "and that's why we follow what it says in here.", he held the book aloft, eyes shining with the reverence akin to that of a devout Christian holding the bible. Kurama rolled his eyes.

"Oh please, who in this merry little band would know where the nearest military facility is?"

"We follow the soldiers."

"What if they've been turned into zombies too? And what if all the guns run out of ammunition?"

"I've got my spirit gun."

"That runs on spirit power. You can only use so much before you're drained."

The Spirit Detective fixed his friend with a glare. Kuwabara sat cross-legged next to Botan, contemplating. "He's right Urameshi. I mean, there's a lot we can do if a zombie apocalypse does break out, but each solution is bound to run out in no time. Especially if the number of zombies keeps rising, which it will."

"What if I take you guys to Spirit World? You'll be safe then." Botan said.

Kuwabara smiled. "No thanks Botan. I'd rather try to save humanity than run away."

"I hear you on that." Yusuke grinned. Kurama nodded.

Hiei rolled his crimson eyes, 'Romanticist fools."

"Oh?" Kurama questioned, raising an eyebrow. A smirk grew on his face. An icy weight plunged into Hiei's heart. When Kurama smirked, slaughter followed. And while Hiei was sure Kurama would not pull out his rose whip, the koorime knew he was about to get verbally way-laid. Outside of Hiei's realm of thought, Kurama's eyes developed an insidious glow to match the smirk on his lips.

"Pray tell Hiei, what would _you _do if a zombie apocalypse ever arose?"

All fear (and faith in Kurama's intelligence) Hiei had at the beginning of the confrontation snapped, melted, and heated up into a nice, boiling pot of seething frustration. _That _was the question? Snorting once more, Hiei responded;

"I'd just leave the humans to their fate. It's not like I care."

"What was that you heartless runt?" Kuwabara snarled. The young punk raised a fist, rage darkening his face. "You better take that back shorty!"

"Feh, it's not like you'll be able to touch me. Besides, why should I care if the entire human race is about to be eaten?"

"Because a certain human and his detective work is the reason you're not sitting in Spirit World Penitentiary." Red beams of rage shot towards the ferry-girl. Forget moving up on his meter; she'd just knocked herself _under _Kuwabara.

Kurama chuckled. "Besides Hiei, wouldn't running away to Demon World be a coward's move? I thought you were above such things."

After hearing those words, so heavily steeped in sarcasm, it took all if Hiei's willpower to not pull out his sword, and cut the fox's throat. He did however, peg the red-head with a look that, had he possessed the ability, would have reduced Kurama to cinders in an instant. Hiei huffed. Realizing he would not be able to escape until the conversation was over, Hiei plunked down next to Yusuke.

"Alright, if I can't high-tail it to Demon World," he said, shooting Kurama a side glare, which the demon in question ignored, "then, hypothetically speaking, what can we do if the threat of zombies arises?"

"What about just rolling over them in a tank?" Kuwabara suggested.

"No, that wouldn't work. Tanks move way too slow, and then there's the problem of refueling." Kurama replied.

"And what about provisions?" Botan added.

"Hiei could use the Dragon of the Darkness Flame, I could use the Spirit Wave, and you and Kuwabara could bring up the rear."

"Hey, I'm not bringing up anyone's rear!" Kuwabara retorted.

Hiei rolled his eyes, "Nice try detective, but that won't work either. Not only do both of our most powerful techniques have a limited range, they both sap our power considerably. They're techniques used as a last-ditch effort, what we would use if we were surrounded by a large number, somewhere in the high double-digits of we're lucky, hundreds if we're not."

"And it seems the odds are always against us." Kurama said. Kuwabara nodded.

"We still haven't figured out a method of transportation." Botan said. "I can fly, so that's not a problem for me. Hiei can rely on his speed. I'm sure Kurama's got some plant he can use, but Yusuke and Kuwabara are stuck."

Yusuke laughed. "Aw c'mon Botan, it's not that hard to figure out. You three have your handy little abilities, lame-brain here and I'll just jack a car. No big deal."

"Okay, here's the big question," Kurama pointed a finger at Yusuke, "can either of you drive?"

A shrug was the response, followed by: "Eh, in this case, you learn by doing."

Botan and Hiei raised an eyebrow. Kurama shook his head. "Forget about being eaten by zombies, you two will probably die in a car wreck before the zombies even get close to you. But again, what about provisions and refueling? Cars that have a lot of room aren't gas efficient, and those that are, are often don't have a lot of space in both back seat and trunk. You're going to have to keep most of your food items in the trunk, depending on what you can find or take with you."

"Why can't they put things in the back seat?" Botan asked.

"Easy access for more weapons." Yusuke answered.

"There has to be a way that we can defeat zombies and not run out of anything too quick." Kuwabara sighed.

Just then, an idea struck Kurama. One moment, he was sitting with the others, contemplating along with them, the next bam! A brilliant idea, packaged and wrapped in a bow of such stark simplicity, the former thief had to hold in the urge to slap himself upside the head. Why had he not thought of it before? It was so simple! Kurama snapped his fingers.

"I've got it."

"What?" the other four chorused.

"Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb here, but bear with me. Hiei mentioned going to Demon World right? Well, that might not be such a bad idea after all." Yusuke went to say something, but Kurama held up a hand, "just wait, hear me out. While I'll admit that Demon World's technology is a bit behind that of the Human World, they do have one thing that the human world doesn't."

"And those are?" inquired Kuwabara.

"Rakshasa."

"Say what?" Yusuke raised an eyebrow.

"Rakshasa. They're demons that feed on the dead." Kurama explained.

Confused looks all around. Kurama sighed. "Just think about it. Rakshasa feast on the dead. A zombie, while animated, is, for all intents and purposes, dead. It has no heartbeat, no blood flow, and the flesh is rotting off the body. It's literally a walking buffet for a hungry overgrown vulture that is the rakshasa."

"Are you sure though? I mean it sound a little weird-"

"Kurama's right," Hiei interrupted Botan's skepticism, "If we go to Demon World and bring back a group of let's say...ninety, maybe even one hundred to one hundred and fifty if the odds are against us, there's our zombie apocalypse counter-squad."

"But what if they get full?" Botan asked, still not willing to let her skepticism die.

"Trust me, rakshasa never get full," Kurama reassured her, "I've run across a few before. Their appetite is insatiable."

"Sounds like a pretty good plan Kurama." Kuwabara said. Hiei nodded.

Botan buried her misgivings, but Yusuke continued to think upon it.

"I have just one question though."

"Shoot."

"Well, we're taking the new, re-vamped zombie idea right? The whole virus thing, zombies can run, and the normally travel in packs, right?"

Kurama nodded.

"That being said," Yusuke continued, "we're also going under the zombie-bite-spreads-the-infection-rule, so here's my question: What if our rakshasa get bitten? What then?"

Silence. Yusuke looked at Kurama, who in turn looked off into space, trying to come up with an idea. One minute passed...two minutes...two and a half... Sighing, Kurama turned to Botan.

"Is the option for going to Spirit World still open?"

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**Zombies: 1, Detectives: 0. I have no idea where that came from. I hope everyone wasn't too OOC. Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review.**


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